January 18, 2008 - 4:49 pm
Recently, I asked people on a forum to share their blogging failures. I even shared one of my own failures. As I expected, there was not one response from anyone. I haven’t found out why, but I suspect people didn’t respond because they didn’t want to embarrass themselves by sharing their own mistakes. Maybe they thought it would be looked at as a weakness, I don’t know. But one thing I’ve learned is to not be ashamed of your failures, but celebrate them.
That is the motivation behind my idea for FailureFresh.com. The web site is meant for us to take ownership of the mistakes we’ve made, as if we’re saying, “Yep, I did that wrong, but I’ll be better off for it!”
There are great reasons to not only being proud when you fail, but to share those failures with other people.
Failure shows you’ve gone the distance
Most people have a different definition of failure. For me, failing means you have done absolutely everything you could do to make yourself successful. If you’ve exhausted every option that exists, and you still fail, you can be at peace because you’ve tried your hardest. I have a lot of respect for married couples who go the distance to make sure their marriage succeeds. They’ve tried all the books, counseling, and advice to make things right, and if the marriage still doesn’t work, then that’s that. I’ve noticed there’s a peace about these couples when they decide to divorce. They understand that there was nothing more they could do, and they were happy they tried.
Those of us who haven’t gone the distance, and gave up too soon are usually the ones who become bitter and resentful over their problems. I believe these people haven’t failed, but gave up before they could have the chance to fail. I’ve been in this boat many times. I stopped trying many times simply because one person said, “It can’t be done” or told me “No”. I can think of many businesses and ideas I’ve tried to execute that have been shot down before I gave them a chance. I’m more upset with myself because I know there was more I could have done, but my fear of actual failure prevented me.
To truly be proud of your failure, you need to do everything you can to be successful. And when you do throw in the towel, it will be disappointing, but you’ll be happy that you put in the effort to make it work.
Failure helps you appreciate your success
It’s amazing how much failure and struggle make us that much more satisfied when we finally become successful. I’ve been watching the Australian Open tennis tournament this week, and I’ve noticed the differences in some matches. The players who won easily in a score like 6-0, 6-1, 6-2 are very subdued and low-key after their win. But the ones who grind through a long five set win in a score like 4-6, 6-2, 6-3, 2-6, 9-7 are the players who are extremely emotional and excited about their win. This is because they had to work for their outcome. They had a tough opponent that made them work hard and put out all of their effort. When you go through that struggle and come out on top, it feels that much better.
Going through failure is the only way you can truly appreciate your success when it comes. When you achieve your goals and reach your wildest dreams, you’ll certainly remember the times you’ve stumbled and fallen to get to where you are now. And it will feel so good.
Failure helps you face your fears
I was going to title this section “Failure makes you fearless”, but it doesn’t. When I fail I usually become more afraid to fail the next time, and I’ll give up easily, or not try at all. But the important thing to do is to press on even if you’re afraid. Earlier I said that failure shows you’ve gone the distance. That means you need to go the distance in spite of the fear. Fear keeps us from doing so many things in life, but failure is a sign that you’ve persisted even if you fear the outcome. This means that when we fail, we’re really facing our fears. We’re saying, “I might not reach my goal, I may get hurt, but I’ll still try.”
Failure should motivate and challenge us to learn from our past mistakes and keep moving on. It should never be a cue to give up the next time around. Yes, failing hurts, and the prospect of it happening is scary. But it’s necessary in order to face our fears and overcome them.
Failure is an inspiration and a support for others
I love hearing stories about people who have overcome huge defeats and struggles to achieve great success in their lives. It’s always made me believe I can do the same. I’m a big fan of magazines about entrepreneurs for this reason. You’ll find a multitude of business owners who tell stories of how they struggled through bankruptcy, lack of clients, and dozens of people saying no. But today they are multi-million dollar companies with devoted customers. I can’t get enough of these stories because it keeps me inspired to continue reaching for higher goals. My failures will eventually give me an inspiring story to tell.
Other times I hear a story of someone who is currently going through the exact same failure I am. It’s great to know that there’s someone out there who is going through the same struggles you are. Of course I’m not happy someone else is struggling, but it’s nice reminder that you’re not the only one who’s failed in life. One of the cool things about people who have gone through the same things is that a support system comes into place, which serves to help everyone involved. This is how I’ve made many new friendships and contacts with people who’ve shared my personal and career failures.
One thing I’ve learned is that people respond to honesty. They appreciate when someone is being genuine about themselves, and has the courage to share something that others would be ashamed or humiliated to reveal publicly. There’s certainly nothing more honest than admitting how you’ve failed.
Celebrate Your Failure
Admitting my past failures, and the ones I’ll make in the future has actually set me free. I really do feel as if I have permission to go the distance with my ideas and the things I want in life. If you want to do the same, head over to FailureFresh.com and submit your failure. You’re free to remain anonymous or cryptic with your failure if you’d like, if you don’t want everyone knowing your business. But I’d recommend using your real name. Either way, sharing your struggles means you’re taking ownership of your failures, and that’s one step closer to success. And who knows, your failure may just be an inspiration for someone else.
Be proud and celebrate failure!
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